how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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