I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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