i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Bring me that man meat
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
