Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
