I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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