Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
How's work?
Spinning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
