i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
