i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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