I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
