Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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