I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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