I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think people are normalizing furries
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
