Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
