she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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