she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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