remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
