Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
