If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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