It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
