Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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