Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
