I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
