I can text with my tongue
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
