You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
