WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I didn't notice because vodka
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
