He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
