you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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