whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
