why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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