I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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