yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
