All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
