Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
