just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
