i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i was born a porn star she said
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
