he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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