Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
