Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love having hate sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
