Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
