the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
