I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
