thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
