yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
