No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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