Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
