sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
