On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I love you.
Bad choice
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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