if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
