I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
