his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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