What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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