help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
