My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
